THINGS MY BRAIN TOLD ME TO DO THIS WEEK - 9 10/23/2017 Monday - My boyfriend snores like The Gruffalo so i’ve stolen his children’s vocal chords and replaced them with the audio recordings of his slumber grunts. It’s a cruel world. Tuesday - Go to a job interview dressed entirely in a suit made of yoghurt. Does it hurt when you yog? Wednesday - Start laughing whilst pooing. Just for shits and giggles. Thursday - Travel the breadth of the world looking for folk that have thrown away their unwanted bathtubs, turn said bathtubs upside-down and
Monday - My boyfriend snores like The Gruffalo so i’ve stolen his children’s vocal chords and replaced them with the audio recordings of his slumber grunts. It’s a cruel world. Tuesday - Go to a job interview dressed entirely in a suit made of yoghurt. Does it hurt when you yog? Wednesday - Start laughing whilst pooing. Just for shits and giggles. Thursday - Travel the breadth of the world looking for folk that have thrown away their unwanted bathtubs, turn said bathtubs upside-down and
THINGS MY BRAIN TOLD ME TO DO THIS WEEK - 6 10/03/2017 Monday - From now on I will turn up to all my gigs on a spacehopper. Tuesday - It really is a sorry state of affairs that one of the things we think of when Christmas is approaching is “the Coca-Cola Lorry.” This is just more corporation evil so what i’ve done is made my own “Coca-Cola Lorry” out of tin cans and hatred for the world. What folk don’t know is that it doubles up as a transformer and if it even as much as smells any excitement on anyones nostrils at it being a “Coca-Cola Lorry”
Monday - From now on I will turn up to all my gigs on a spacehopper. Tuesday - It really is a sorry state of affairs that one of the things we think of when Christmas is approaching is “the Coca-Cola Lorry.” This is just more corporation evil so what i’ve done is made my own “Coca-Cola Lorry” out of tin cans and hatred for the world. What folk don’t know is that it doubles up as a transformer and if it even as much as smells any excitement on anyones nostrils at it being a “Coca-Cola Lorry”
THINGS MY BRAIN TOLD ME TO DO THIS WEEK - 1 07/17/2017 Monday - Grow a mullet Tuesday - Push a class load of children currently on a school trip into a very large bush so they all fall into said very large bush like tiny hi-vis wearing dominos. They need to be wearing hi-vis vests in order for this to work, so they can go do a shift in construction for the latter part of the afternoon. Wednesday - Swap bodies with a pigeon, then live on the windowsill watching my boyfriend come to terms with life with his new pigeon natured girlfriend. Thursday -
Monday - Grow a mullet Tuesday - Push a class load of children currently on a school trip into a very large bush so they all fall into said very large bush like tiny hi-vis wearing dominos. They need to be wearing hi-vis vests in order for this to work, so they can go do a shift in construction for the latter part of the afternoon. Wednesday - Swap bodies with a pigeon, then live on the windowsill watching my boyfriend come to terms with life with his new pigeon natured girlfriend. Thursday -
